My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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