Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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