no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
