i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
