i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
