Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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