A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
