if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Welp...herpes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
