420 ftw
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
