Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So much Jack, so little girl.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize