I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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