She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
