At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She announced her abortion via fbk
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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