rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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