If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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