She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
