I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
