your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
