I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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