yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
