she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
