I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
