Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
