i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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