We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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