You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
