i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
