Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
