it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize