I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am midnight drunk by noon
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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