my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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