i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
