And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
