I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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