To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
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You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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