You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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