Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
