So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
