Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
