Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
