In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
