We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
