Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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