I forgot how hot balto sounded
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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