Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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