No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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