Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion