Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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