went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.