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The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Randomize
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