Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk