I will die if light touches me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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