So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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