i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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