He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize