I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
