Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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