dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
