Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW