Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!