apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire