I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...