and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
