Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
