You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.