Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.