I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy