You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
